20 Days

20 school days left until I graduate.


I graduate June 12th (if it doesn't rain).


I'm basically holding in, I am so bored with school work.


I don't know how my grades look so good, I got A's in all my classes, except English I got an 88 (B+).


However that'll go to an A once I finish my paper on 'No Country For Old Men'


I want school to be over, I literally can't stand the students, they are so obnoxious and rude and immature.


UGH!


I'll get through my final days of school.

Goodness...

So this past weekend, like I said I had placement testing at Rutgers, which I'm pretty sure they're gonna look at my math scores and think I'm absolutely stupid because I don't think I knew a single question, which is sad, but math is not a required course for the theatre students, so I'm not gonna stress that at all.


On to the better part of my weekend, I got to see my hunny, Al and my doll, Brooke plus their nice friend Joy on Sunday when we all went to the park. I was completely stressing and getting very agitated because me and my family were an hour late to meet with them (so that was an hour lost of spending time with them). However when we did finally get to them, Al was the first one I saw and oh my gawd, I wanted to cry from happiness, his transformation from the last time I saw him was impeccable. And then I got to see Brooke and meet their friend Joy.


My younger cousin tagged along with me, my dad and brother and she was another highlight of the day. My brother and dad grilled, while me, my cousin and my friends talked and played. I enjoyed every single second of the time spent with them, I just couldn't believe they were actually here again. If someone were to ask what my favorite part of this year was thus far, I'd say seeing my twins again after months apart because I missed them so much.


All good things must come to an end, when it came time for them to leave, my heart sank. I didn't wanna say "goodbye" so soon. I had just gotten them back, but I knew they were here for a certain purpose. I walked them to their car, and of course I got my "goodbye" hugs, and again the tears started to pour once they started saying how proud they were of me for all that I had accomplished. And once the tears begin to flow, there's no stopping them. I got a kiss on the cheek from both of them and we said are final "goodbye" for the time being.


I'm crying now as I write this because like I said I miss them so much, I was used to seeing them almost everyday in school and occasionally hanging out. I can't believe it had been about 8 months since I had last seen them in person. 


Like they said they are proud of me, I'm so proud of them for everything they've accomplished and who they're becoming. I hope to see them again soon because I just can't stand missing them so much. My hunny and my doll, I love them so much.

The Weekend

So this weekend, I will be getting another step closer to college for I am taking the Rutgers Placement test on Saturday. I'm so not excited to be at Rutgers from 8:15am to 2pm, but it's gotta be done.


Then on Sunday....I GET TO SEE MY TWINS !!! MY TWINS ARE COMING UP FROM TEXAS SATURDAY NIGHT AND I GET TO SEE THEM SUNDAY !!!! I literally cannot contain my excitement, I miss them so much, it's so weird not having them around.


We are gonna have a picnic at the park, and just relax and talk and catch up. I'm so ecstatic to see Al because I get to see his transformation from when I last saw him. And Brooke, I just can't wait to hug my doll !


I wish I could see them all the time, but it's just a lucky chance they're coming my way this time.


I love them so much, and I'm so proud of them both. My hunny and my doll~

Kik ?

I have made a shit ton of accounts in the past 2 weeks, and one of them is a kik, so if you wanna talk my thingy is LaceyxLoves

So I've Come to The Realization That...

So I've come to realization that I'm a terrible human being. I was just not meant to keep people in my life. I drive people away all the time. I demean them, I stress them out, I belittle them, I do all this horrid shit to people I care about because- well I don't have a reason. It's such a terrible thing I do to the point where it's left me with no one in my life, but my small family. No friends, no significant other, no other relationships. I'm a lost cause when it comes to all this. I pushed everyone away, I pushed and pushed until I finally lost the one person I couldn't live without. I fought to justify myself, but who am I kidding. I need a personality adjustment, I need to fix myself before I go out and try again. I've been knocked down too many times I cannot handle it. I just want to be a better me. I've hit rock bottom and I don't want it to get any worse. I want what is best for me. And I believe what is best is finishing out my senior year in good standing (actually doing my work, and attempting to get some community service hours, and stop going home early). I want to walk at graduation. I deserve it more than anything to prove that I've made it to that milestone in my life. Then I have a summer to change myself and fix myself for the better and then I'm off to college for the next 4 years of my life. I want to feel good about myself, I want to actually be proud of myself, and I'm not. I'm worthless. I know I can do this, but I actually have to try. My goals to become a better me are first off to lose some weight (it'll help with me not liking my appearance), read more books (to help me get ideas on writing because I want to go back to that), take my mediation (I need to accept they are a part of my daily life), become better at make-up (I want to accomplish a perfect winged eyeliner and be able to do some special effects make-up), get ready for college (another big milestone in my life), change my personality for the better (I need a serious adjustment and I know it'll help), and be the princess I know I can be (because I am).


I want to forget my past and look forward to the future. I will become a better Soler Princess Nichols. I know it. I just have to have faith in myself.

Birthday !

Today is my birthday !


I am officially 18 years old !


I'm very excited for today and Saturday (when I will celebrate my belated birthday)


Yay for me !

Lonely...

So I know it is officially over with my prince (Andrew Dragon Carrero), there is really no point in trying to salvage our relationship, it is long gone.

So for a long time I've been very lonely, and unhappy. I want someone in my life, whether it is a new best friend or a boyfriend or girlfriend.

I would just like to be able to talk to someone every day or something. I'd love to see my phone light up with a new message from someone other than my mum or dad.

I want to laugh and smile and be merry with a new friend/boyfriend/girlfriend. I feel like I am going to slip into a depression again, but this time due to lack of communication.

I have literally no friends at school, no online friends, no nothing. I wake up, go to school, come home, and go to sleep. No real talking in between.

I just want a romantic or platonic love (I guess). I want to be able to message someone and actually get a response back from someone who wants to talk with me.

I've multiple times put out information on how to contact me and such and just letting people know what I'm looking for, but I guess I'm not that interesting at all.

I'm just hoping to meet someone soon, I'd really appreciate it. Once again I will make an announcement on who I am and what I want.

My name is Lacey. I'm into a lot of different things. I am a pansexual seeking a best friend or a boyfriend or girlfriend or significant other. I just want someone who loves talking to me and would love to have Skype dates once a week or something. My hair is now pink again, I love black eyeliner, and I am aiming to lose weight because I hate my appearance. I'm a huge Modern Doctor Who fan who will cry during every sad episode. Please message me, I'll give you my number, my tumblr, my Skype, my email, just give me a chance. I can be fun once you get to know me, but I am very shy.